I can live for two months on a good compliment.
~ Mark Twain
When someone pays you a compliment, how do you typically respond? I know what my go-to mechanism is and I’m curious if you can relate. The clip will take less than two minutes…and I’d love to know your thoughts!
I was just commenting about this on another blog. I’ve had such a hard time accepting compliments from anyone, including my husband. He finally made me start saying only “Thank you for noticing” anytime he complimented me, I would often sound like Eeyore and roll my eyes. Then it started to get easier, “thank you for noticing” with a smile.
I think we’ve been told so much that no one likes a bragger that we’ve lost the ability to accept a genuine compliment without instantly negating it.
So, “Thank you for noticing”
Gabriela, I LOVE that your husband challenged and encouraged you with something you could do! Two points for him! For me, the axiom “It’s much better to give than receive” holds true with compliments, too. You make a great point, though…practice DOES make a difference
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Oh, YES! Compliments are so hard. I never feel like I’m worth the compliment or I feel like I have to justify the compliment (as you explained — Oh, this? I got it for $2 at Target.). But I also feel like I have to *return* the compliment and I find that’s awkward too! You love my skirt? I love your shoes! You love that I can talk about SEO? I love that you can create such loyal communities!
I had an instructor at college once that told us when we belittle a compliment, we are essentially belittling the person who gave the compliment. By denying the compliment, we are saying their thought or opinion is wrong. It’s insulting. So, you know, more pressure to just smile and say, “Thank you! I worked really hard on dinner tonight and I’m so glad you enjoyed it!”
Melanie, When I’m self-aware, I MAKE myself say “thank you” and leave it at that; but it’s always an effort. And you make me think–when I compliment someone and they have difficulty accepting my words, it delights me if they don’t offer explanations or excuses.
And girlieQ, you are ALWAYS worth the compliment
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I have a horrible time with this too. I feel like I don’t deserve the compliment and THANK YOU is so hard to push out of my mouth. I will try and be more cognizant of this this week and see if I can change that!
Thank you Mrs. Robin for reminding us again that we deserve to be confident and should embrace positive. You are so awesome!
Tia!!!! Do you have any idea how much YOU just encouraged me??? THANK YOU!! I can’t wait to hear how you did with this; I’m expectant to hear good things when you report back because now that you’re thinkin’ about it and being INTENTIONAL, I bet it’s gonna get a little easier to say thanks and move on….
I am always embarressed after I receive a compliment for my post compliment explanations. I am promising myself that I will work on just saying Thank You!
Celia,
GOOD! GOOD! GOOD! GOOD! GREAT! I BELIEVE you can do this!! Blush, smile and offer a sincere “thank you!”
Robin,
after reading this yesterday I tried to take a compliment. It went okay. An acquaintance of mine told me I looked beautiful and instead of saying “oh my hair just won’t cooperate” or something along those lines, I said “thank you.” Sadly, I felt the need to add “you look beautifully too,” (which she did, but i need to just learn to take the compliment without justifying it in any way)
Ok, Laura Ann…that’s a start, right? I think (hope?) the more you’re aware the easier this will get
. Don’t you find it encouraging that not one of these readers who commented receives compliments easily? We’re in it together, GirlieQ…don’t be too hard on yourself. 
Yup, this is me, too! I’m terrible, terrible at explaining away a compliment. Thank you for your encouragement to just start and stop with “Thank you.” I accept the challenge!
My husband pointed this character defect out to me a few years ago… not to say that I’ve conquered i, I’ve just been working on it! On my better days I can say thanks and keep it there. For me, this struggle is based on my value being what i DO vs who I AM – If i am secure in who I am a thank you is enough. Otherwise…there’s that dirty word, BUT involved.
Great challenge!
Blessings!
Love this, Robin.
I just wanted to add that this is something that we can teach our children early on and it will REALLY help them with this!
You know how kids can get all embarrassed and shy when someone compliments them? I remember that very feeling, and I clearly remember my kind god-father teaching me to respond with a gracious “thank you.” As a kid, it was helpful to know that “thank you” was sufficient and I didn’t have to be embarrassed.
His lesson has stuck with me and helped me with this ever since….:)
My inability to accept a compliment of any sort has to deal with my level of self-confidence which is typically at a minimum. I’ve been told numerous times over the years to just accept a compliment by saying thank you and moving on, but I never have. It would mean I’d have to believe what the other person’s saying is true. If I don’t believe it, why would I believe it from someone else? You know what I mean? I think until I feel differently about myself that probably won’t change.